Hear from Me…Jizarah Javeria

I can’t believe it.  Well, maybe I can believe it.  The Internet is great and I know I personally spend a lot of time on it. Not as much as the average person though.  I get most of my news from it and to see all these blogs and headlines about the Catsouras family and what they are going through. It just is sad and sick.

This family lost their daughter in a terrible car accident.  Now they have the nightmare of knowing that the pictures of the accident are floating around the Internet. These photos I guess are pretty graphic showing the scenes of the accident with their daughter in them. They have had to take their other kids out of school and have banned them from the Internet for fear of them seeing these photos. The parents have received the photos from tons of emails they are getting.

It’s just so terrible to think that the photos got out in the first place. How dare someone on the CHP leak these photos out to the general public. It is an atrocity. I would think it would be fairly easy to track who it was and then prosecute to the fullest extent of the law.

No family should have to go through what this family is going through today. My heart goes out to them and I hope the company they have hired to get rid of the photos is able to accomplish this goal. I even read that the photos have been viewed by over 50 countries. I just can’t imagine. I hope Catsouras family, you are able to find peace very soon!

What a shame that we in this so-called civilized nation (yes, I know I just said 50 other countries have joined in, but this issue originated here in the good ole Us of A as well as we Americans like to think we are so much better than everyone else…I mean with all the ‘freedoms’ we have here unlike those backward Muslim countries)…act so uncivilized. It’s just plain embarrassing….

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You all know Al Green right?  Well, he’s getting the lifetime achievement award at the 2008 BET Awards.  I believe the BET channel started in the 80s since I remember it pretty well.  I remember thinking that I wasn’t really suppose to watch anything on the channel since it wasn’t really for me.  But I also remember being very curious though.  I wondered how different must the shows be.  I mean, is the Black culture just so different that they need their own channel.  I know now…..I mean, come on, there’s a reason why there’s Univision, ZTV, and so on.  I think we all like the idea of coming together to celebrate our diversities, as long as we know we can go back and be around our own brothers and sisters.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  People feel most comfortable when they are around people like them, whether their skin is the same color, their religion is the same, their philosophy is the same…or all of the above.

It’s interesting to see what the mix is now.  Take for instance my experience.  I grew with most of my friends being non-Muslim and non-Pakistani.  In fact, I never really saw any Muslims or Pakistanis till the weekend at a dinner party with my parents’ friends or at Sunday school.  It wasn’t till college that I primarily hung out with the desi crowd.  I have multiple theories on why that was.  Maybe it was because I reached out to find someone else like me since I was in a new environment..a rather large intimidating one.  It was during my four years of college that I studied more about Islam and got to become more comfortable in my own skin, so again, seeked out Muslims to hang with and learn from.  Or maybe it was because I was just stoked that  there were actually desi’s out there I could see and develop a friendship with on a more regular basis….

The friendships I have now continue to be with IndoPaks and Muslims.  I of course have some friends that I have kept up with for years and years that are not Muslims.  But for now, I’d say 90% of my closest friends are all Muslim.  That is a great thing.  It just makes life easier and I think that my kids will learn that too.  I love the fact that they, unlike myself, will have close Muslims friends at their grade school ages and not have to wait all the way till they go to college.  I love the fact that they have always had a Muslim name on the roster of kids in their class, not to mention a whole diverse list of names.  It will make their life that much easier when there are other Muslims close by.  They don’t even have to befriend them necessarily but just that they are there.

It is so important for our Muslim kids to be around other Muslims kids.  It will help to build their confidence, to develop security and to understand their Muslim identity.  It won’t make everything easy, but it will sure make it easier.

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I’ve not written for quite a while.  Kids are out of school and on summer break, so that seems to have taken up most of my time.  See, they don’t really know I have a blog.  So, I don’t write in front of them.  They’ve seen the page up and have asked but I’ve not really said “hey, this is mama’s blog”.  So how come? you ask.  Well, my oldest is old enough to understand the information and well, I guess I’m shielding her.  I’m always shielding her.

I guess now that she is getting older, she’s 10, I feel like she gets things more, so my husband and I can’t really talk about anything in front of her.  My sons, yeah, they’re young and don’t really follow our conversations.  We just don’t see any reason why she should hear our discussions about work, about money, about what that person did or he did…what this auntie said or this uncle did.  I want her to be naive to these adult topics…at least as long as I can.  I don’t know how long I will do that.  She’s gotten so observant and she’s gotten too smart for her own good.  She gets things quicker than I probably do.

With all the crap on TV, online, on the radio…yeah, Talk Radio.  I can’t even listen to talk radio; they have to talk about this guy who got caught with child porn…and then of course, they have to be more specfic by using sex, sexual, sexy…pretty much every form of the word to describe the story.  Talk about grabbing the knob quick to turn the volume down or power off.

We were at her softball pizza party and I had some of the younger siblings sitting at my table.  They were all giglling and pointing to the wall.  One said to me that, hey look at this…there it was “SEX ” written there in white chalk… oh and guess what was just below it?…yup, the F word. Jeez, so I’m looking at this girl, same age has my son, 6 and my son, and this other kid…all looking up at me with innocent eyes.  I just said, “kids don’t read all the trash on the wall, let’s get some pizza and see if there is some salad left.  Anyone want salad?”  Thank goodness for short attention spans and empty stomachs.  I never did go up to the owner to tell him he needs to clean his walls.  I forgot but hopefully someone else will.

I guess we can keep shielding as much as we can and then there is a point where you must just open the flood gates.  Where you sit down and at least open the subject up.  I shall do that very soon…this summer in fact.  The last thing I want is for any information to get to my kids before I can explain it to them.  Nowadays this all happens sooner than later. So…I best be prepared.

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Have you ever been curious as to how much a software engineer makes at Microsoft or Yahoo?  Check out this new site that just launched, glassdoor.com. I love the name! You can also see approval ratings of top CEOs…funny how they are all very good, hmmmm?! You can post anonymously so it looks pretty legit.

The information looks interesting enough, but not sure why I would be spending much time here.  Course, I’m at home now and have been away from corporate life for about six years. I don’t think I’ll go back either.  Why would I? It’s so not worth it.  Work opportunities are so different now.  I think it is possible to have, well, not have it all, but have a lot.

With three kid it’s tough to decide on when do I get to build my career again?  I think the answer is, there just won’t be a time.  I mean, for me at least.  I can see going back to work if I put my youngest in child care.  Women do it all the time and they make it work.  For me, well, I want to be at home when they are home and home when they leave for school.  BUT, wow, it gets tougher.  No, not raising them.  It gets tougher staying home and not working.  I really think that women who have worked before having kids have a tough time making that decision to NOT go back to work.  I feel like I’ve started my career over multiple times.  I was working, then had a baby, then quit, then went back to work, then had a baby, then quit….I know I’m not the only one.  I see these women that are really active at school and learn that they used to work a lot before having kids.  Course that may answer the question of why these women are so uptight…I mean it’s a craft project for a first grader not the engine for the next NASA shuttle….lighten up jeez…..I digress.

So now what? Well, now it’s time to be creative and create your own opportunities.  At least that is what I’m doing now.  Tomorrow is the last day of school which means I’ll have three kids bouncing off the walls every day all day.  So, if I want to stay sane, I need to decide how this summer is going to be.  I’ve already filled our online calendar with Things to Do since there is so much going on and available for the kids to do over the summer.  But, I’ve already explained to the kids that I will also be working while they are home so they’ll have to be patient during the day while I get my work done.  I’m going to be doing some freelance writing.  Now don’t tell anyone, but I really don’t have any background in writing…no formal training or any classes or special degree.  Somehow though, I’ve managed to convince some clients that I can write and wow, they’re actually willing to pay me.  At least for this summer all the writing I’ll be doing is for attorneys.  So nothing fabulous just kinda dry and straightforward.  The best part is that I can do it at home.  Sure it’ll be between giving baths, changing diapers, driving the kids places, reading aloud, making meals, doing housework, entertaining the kids…….but there is time in the day or at least I’ll have to find the time huh?

Today I heard another volunteer mom saying how she used to work at Deloitte and just recently she began to think about what she should do about going back.  She continued saying that she sat and thought and thought … and decided back in January that she would see about consulting businesses on saving money on a smaller level (she was in the same line of work at Deloitte).  She got a few clients and now all of a sudden things have picked up.  Mind you, she does this all on her own and she has at least one kid, her first grader that is in m son’s class (not sure if she has any other kids).

I LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear these stories.  Very smart, educated, driven women who are making a career for themselves while balancing being a mom.  It’s wonderful and I think all moms can learn from this.  We can have it all..yes Dr. Laura, it is possible to work and still be there for your kids…and there are many many many women that do this every day.

It won’t be easy I know. This isn’t the first time I’m doing this kind of work. BUT, it will be the first time I’m working with all three of of my kids at home.  I’m up for the challenge.  In fact, I am very UP for the challenge.

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I’m not a big PETA fan or a big Save the Whales kinda person, but I have to admit this whole horse racing thing seems to silly.  I watched Brown at Belmont like the rest of the US but didn’t find myself rooting for him to win.  It would have been rather cool to witness something that has not happened in 30 years, that is, the winning of the Triple Crown, but it still did not move me to yell at the TV “Go Brown Go”.  I actually felt bad for Brown when they replayed his race and you could see how he had tripped a little and may have actually been kicked when the horses were pretty tightly grouped.  On the other hand, I also found it quite frustrating when they spent so much time on showing Brown exiting and not filming the actual winner.  What about his limelight?  His odds were 38 to 1…wow, someone sure made some serious money.

The Belmont was entertaining and all, but it did make me appreciate the point of view of protesters again horse racing.  BUT, watching didn’t pull me to the PETA side.  These horses do get a lot of care, great medical treatment, great facilities, all they need, and well they were born to race, so they’re doing what they love.  Man, I would have never pictured me doing a whole blog entry on horse racing, but here I am.  Enough said….speaking of winners…or maybe be losers…

Did you catch Clinton’s speech? I thought she did really well.  It impressed me how well she hide her her true feelings as she so loudly endorsed Obama and encouraged her supporter to go out and back him.  It was probably one of the toughest speeches she’s ever made.  She had some good lines and they’ll all be analyzed to death on Sunday morning new shows so stay tuned…

We know you want your name next to Obama’s in November, but don’t hold your breathe Hillary, it’s not going to happen.

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I can’t seem to find the article, but if I do I’ll add it later.  You want a lesson on how to spend ‘under the radar’?  Well, I know there are many women out there that do the bills in the house, but there are many more where husbands are reviewing the credit card bills.  So, with that said…I thought it was rather amusing to know from this article I can’t find that when men scan a bill, they don’t really pay much attention to transactions less than $30.  Upon hearing this I thought, well then for those women that worry about their husbands learning about their latest shopping spree can make their life a little easier…maybe.  It’ll take a little work but just keep your purchases under $30 or split the transactions.  And if you do this and it works…let me know

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It’s kinda funny and serious all at the same time.  So poor Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were hacked into again.  Oops, that sounds funny.

Is nothing safe anymore? Nope.  They both have myspace.com pages (um, mistake #1) and they both have uploaded quite interesting photos to their myspace.com (uh, mistake #2).  So now they are out there for the world to see.  Are you wondering where the link is to them?  Come on…I do have my own limits.  You’re not going to find the links to these girls’ pages on my blog…but don’t worry.  Google a little and you’ll find them I’m sure.

Anyways, at what point do these girls get a clue?  Oh wait.  It’s a symbiotic relationship I know.  They post the pics and well they’re ok if the public gets hold of them.  They want the publicity and we love to hear about them.  Paris did learn her lesson from her facebook that got hacked into previously, didn’t she?

You know I’m talking to a potential client that I may be doing some freelance writing for and I was reminded that since I’ve been using my personal email to correspond with them that there is a good chance they’ll be looking at the domain I used.  It happens to be the URL of my family website.  So they’ll see some family photos and my vacation photos to Pakistan…nothing to be worried about.  People out there are also doing research on potential employees by looking up their myspace.com page as well as their facebook, one of which I have.  Again, not too worried, but seeing the stuff that’s out there:  I think others should be worried especially the young ones just entering into the work force.  If you know of any of them remind them that their Saturday night photos at the club have already been viewed by Ms. Maple head of Microsoft’s HR Department.  I’m sure you may be answered with…”who cares. I’m not ashamed of who I am.”  Well, that’s all great, but the reality is, well, they’ll care when they realize that the job offer of 70K starting went to the stiff sharing the waiting room cause he had no facebook page (or at least he modified it before his interview).

Is that fair?  Is it fair that the girl with the lip ring doesn’t get the job because of her lip ring?  Is it fair that the guy with the tatoo on the side of the neck didn’t get the job because he has this tatoo on the side of his neck?  You answer these questions I’m not going to…understand that the answers do not matter, reality does.

I try to explain this to my nieces and maybe one day they’ll get it. You , me, we all judge people on how they look, if they are very pretty, messy, ugly, tall, skinny, fat, pierced, not pierced, bald, clevage showing, tie, no tie, short skirt, expensive purse, we judge and we make opinions based on these and many other attributes …again, don’t argue the point, fair not fair, just understand the reality…it is what it is.

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You are joking right?  You are honestly telling me there are people considering boycotting Dunkin Donuts?

Have you heard the latest? Ok, so the keffiyeh..you know what that is? See the picture below.   Well, apparently people think Arab Militant, Palestinian Terrorist,  Islamic Jihad, anti-Israel and many other ridiculous terms when they see this keffiyeh.   So Rachel Ray is the spokesperson for Dunkin Donuts and on a current ad she is actually wearing a keffiyeh around her neck as she is holding a DD blended drink. I don’t think there are any demonstrations planned, but just the mere mention of such a reaction is amusing.  Where do I start?  What is wrong with people?  Are people really that dumb?  Are people really that ignorant of what goes on in the word?  Are people actually that narrow minded that anyone who is sporting the keffiyeh look- looks like it may be making a comeback -that they must be anti-US, pro-terrorism, anti-Israel, or just really scary?   Apparently the answers to all my questions is an outstanding “yes” because DD pulled the commercial of RR with her very stylish ‘I am a suicide bomber who loves to cook and frequent Dunkin Donuts’ look.

This is what DD had to say:  ‘‘In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.’’

Her stylist thought there was a paisley design? Really? Um..ok.   Should we be mad at DD for pulling the plug?  I would like to be, but I know there is just too much pressure on these companies.  What DD don’t realize is that if they kept the ad, every Muslim in the US would rally around them and  line up at their doors to support their decision….hmmm, maybe that’s why they pulled the ad…a bunch of Muslims all gathered in one place?  That would freak out most people…

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I am a survivor.  Ok, maybe I’m being a little dramatic.  Well, other moms just kept saying 7 girls, oh ok, good luck..or not till 10am…um, ok good luck.  But it wasn’t too bad.

My daughter turns 10 today.  She wanted to do a slumber party, so she invited eight of her friends, six of which were able to come, five of which were able to stay the night last night.  One of the girls has an early game today so left at 10pm last night.  The girls had a great time..at least I think they did.  I’m sure I’ll get the DL from my daughter when they all leave.

We started with a treasure hunt.  I think that went really well.  I put together about 15 clues that took the girls all over the house.  The last clue directed them to the bathtub which I had set up a treasure chest with glitter, jewelry, a skull and all this stuff to make it looks like a true treasure.  I put my daughter’s gift there too.  In the chest were bags of goodies for each girl.  I highly recommend a treasure hunt.  The girls ran around and loved trying to solve the puzzles.  One of the girls actually said she really likes the clues so wants to keep them.

We opened gifts and then went on to make homemade pizzas.  That worked out well too as each girl got to help in different ways:  Mixing doe, rolling it out, putting on sauce and then the cheese.  It actually turned edible.

Next we did dye tie shirts.  Keep in mind these are all pretty economical things to do.  The tie dye kit makes eight shirts ($7) and Michael’s also sold the t-shirts which were $2 each.  It was a bit messy but was fine since we did it in the garage.  The girls opened their shirts this morning (you have to wrap them and wait over night) and they all turned out pretty neat.  So they then had cake and ice cream, played the rest of the night and ended with watching a movie.  They were asleep by 2:30am.

Parents are picking them up around 10am today.  I guess maybe I could have gone with an earlier time, but I thought the girls would sleep in.  What was I thinking?  They were up and Adam [if I'm going to quote one of our historical army leaders I should be more accurate and say "up and at 'em"] and ready for their power breakfast of donuts and bagels by 6:30am.

Now they are just hanging out playing one of my daughter’s gifts we got her - the DVD game of Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader.

So, 10….she’s entered the double digits.  I would say time has flown.  But I don’t really think time has flown.  It is fun to think back at how she was when she was smaller but it does seem like forever ago she was born.  She has been so fun to watch grow up and can’t wait to continue watching her.  I know everyone says ‘they grow like weeds’ or ‘before you know it they’ll be so big.’  Well, I guess I’ve heard that so much I’ve taken it to heart.  I’ve tried to really take notice of the kids and really watch them how they change so I don’t feel that way.  I think that would be such a hard feeling.  I mean to look at my kids and think, wow it just flew by.  I’d feel like I missed so much!  And for me…missing all of this would be a difficult thing to accept.  So enjoy each age, each day…

ok….One more thing…did you all check out the video of Hilary’s latest gaffe in my last entry.  I don’t care if you are a Hillary fan or not but man, you gotta admit.  She really messed up this time…

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